Master Of The Unexpected T-Shirts

"Is your five year plan allowing for potential prison stints?"

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Man's cooking explodes.

'Cartoonist thinking'

Kiss the Commander in Chef

Traffic Cone Monsters

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

'I made them during the blizzard in January. Whad'ya say we go liven up my sister's pool party?'

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

"Oh no, it's the Grim Streaker."

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."

DIY expert.

'Giraffe'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Monk Parrot.

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

To the Aquarium

"We’re going to have to be very discreet. We don’t travel together, and we don’t dine together."

Book ratings.

Man ice fishing when submarine telescope comes out of the fishing hole.

"This one will work for a minute, then jag viciously to the left, rotate 360 degrees, then only move sideways!"

"Looks like rain."

Greg and Lee were having hours of fun with their photo copier breakdown remote control.

Man In Desert Hunted By Shark.

"Why can't they ring the bell for themselves...??"

'Martha, did we receive an eviction notice yesterday?'

Houdini's car keys.

"Can we get balloons for mom?"

Island

It began as a morning like any other ......................

"Gloria it's time you found out the truth about me. I'm not a dermatologist, I'm really a taxidermist!"

"Surprise!... I'm an alcoholic!"