Master Of Disaster T-Shirts

Kiss the Commander in Chef

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

'Save us!'

Man's cooking explodes.

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

'I made them during the blizzard in January. Whad'ya say we go liven up my sister's pool party?'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

man juggling career, home and children

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

Houdini's infancy.

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

DIY expert.

Out and In.

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

Good News/Bad News: Crisis Control Center

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'It's simple. First we look at the upside. Then we look at the downside. Then we look at the upside-down side.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

Magician conjures up a crocodile and is chased by it

Football - How's my Diving?

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

'The good news is I've found a plumber... the bad news is he's coming from China.'

Musician playing very long brass instrument.

"I know we have some invisible ink somewhere but we can never find it..."

'Oh no. Another major decision on what sort of HVAC system to install?'

"Fred is the counterpoint to a perpetual motion machine."

I like that, Frank! You take a nose dive and keep on smiling!

"This one will work for a minute, then jag viciously to the left, rotate 360 degrees, then only move sideways!"

"Careful - it's full of lies."

Greg and Lee were having hours of fun with their photo copier breakdown remote control.

'I can see the Hand of God in that one!'