Master Of Disaster Gifts

Kiss the Commander in Chef

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

'Save us!'

Man's cooking explodes.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

man juggling career, home and children

Houdini's infancy.

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

DIY expert.

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

Out and In.

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Good News/Bad News: Crisis Control Center

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

'It's simple. First we look at the upside. Then we look at the downside. Then we look at the upside-down side.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

Magician conjures up a crocodile and is chased by it

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

'The good news is I've found a plumber... the bad news is he's coming from China.'

Football - How's my Diving?

Musician playing very long brass instrument.

"I know we have some invisible ink somewhere but we can never find it..."

"Careful - it's full of lies."

"Fred is the counterpoint to a perpetual motion machine."

'Oh no. Another major decision on what sort of HVAC system to install?'

"This one will work for a minute, then jag viciously to the left, rotate 360 degrees, then only move sideways!"

'National hug your mom day!'