Kitchen Disaster Master Gifts

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'My hero!'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

'The casserole didn't make it.'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Is it still edible?'

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'The good news is I've found a plumber... the bad news is he's coming from China.'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"Whoa! That's a lot of flame, Beth. I'll pick up a fire extinguisher on my way back from the gym."

"Your dinner will be later than expected, but how much later depends on where you go for it."

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

'Oh no. Another major decision on what sort of HVAC system to install?'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

"How did you know we were having pancake flambe again?"

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

The Origin of Volcanic Eruptions.

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

"Dinner isn't ready yet. I haven't heard the smoke alarm go off."

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"