Kitchen Disaster Master Gifts

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'My hero!'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

'The casserole didn't make it.'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Is it still edible?'

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

"Whoa! That's a lot of flame, Beth. I'll pick up a fire extinguisher on my way back from the gym."

'The good news is I've found a plumber... the bad news is he's coming from China.'

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

"How did you know we were having pancake flambe again?"

"Your dinner will be later than expected, but how much later depends on where you go for it."

'Oh no. Another major decision on what sort of HVAC system to install?'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

The Origin of Volcanic Eruptions.

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

"Dinner isn't ready yet. I haven't heard the smoke alarm go off."

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"