Home Disaster Master Gifts

'The good news is I've found a plumber... the bad news is he's coming from China.'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

Man's cooking explodes.

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Kiss the Commander in Chef

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

"Hello?"

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

Good News/Bad News: Crisis Control Center

"Which area of the house is the most dangerous? A. Your wet bathroom, B. Your dirty kitchen, or C. Your cluttered garage?"

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

Risk perception/Risk assessment/Risk communication/Risk management

New Power Shower.

Leaking washing machine.

'Darn! The wife is gonna kill me for not reading the label.'

'You'll have to wait until I find my keys.'

"Did we switch everything off before we left?"

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

'Oh no. Another major decision on what sort of HVAC system to install?'

'...And how are you managing without me at home?'

Typical Taurus.

If you value your life, install a smoke detector on every floor!

'I can see the Hand of God in that one!'

'Crisis Management Training'

Fred brings home one too many cute refrigerator magnets.

"Did I turn off the stove."