Home Disaster Master Gifts

'The good news is I've found a plumber... the bad news is he's coming from China.'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

Man's cooking explodes.

Kiss the Commander in Chef

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"Hello?"

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

"Which area of the house is the most dangerous? A. Your wet bathroom, B. Your dirty kitchen, or C. Your cluttered garage?"

"Try to open Grampy's chair a little slower next time, puddin'."

Good News/Bad News: Crisis Control Center

Risk perception/Risk assessment/Risk communication/Risk management

New Power Shower.

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

Leaking washing machine.

'You'll have to wait until I find my keys.'

'Darn! The wife is gonna kill me for not reading the label.'

Typical Taurus.

'...And how are you managing without me at home?'

'Oh no. Another major decision on what sort of HVAC system to install?'

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

"Did we switch everything off before we left?"

If you value your life, install a smoke detector on every floor!

'I can see the Hand of God in that one!'

'Crisis Management Training'

Fred brings home one too many cute refrigerator magnets.

'My husband has a morbid fear of asteroids.'