Master Of Unkept Promises T-Shirts

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

'The trouble with punctuality is that it makes the day so long!'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"When you promised me a lift home...."

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

"A 15 page 'to do' list is a 'don't do' list."

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'

"When I grow up I'm going to become president and I'm going to abolish homework!"

"Thanks for coming in on the weekend....although let's admit it, you took a nap at your desk that happened to last all night..."

DIY expert.

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

Desk bins: 'Action' 'Action-Worthy' 'Action-ific'... 'Actually Done' (Nothing).

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Vote! Wally Yomp, Congress: 'I promise to put the toilet seat down.'

Chinese business cuisine.

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

I think you put it off long enough.

"Gotta find more things to do, to distract me from all the things I have to do."

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

'Leave your hammock at home from now on.'

'Cancelled Op last minute.com'

'My next move is to figure out my next move.'

The 'Time Management' consultant rang to say she double booked and she's going to be late!"

"How do you spell 'procrastination'?"

"A statue was built in his honor because he actually delivered on his campaign promises."

"Tom..Tom, you promised not to flame my parents..."

'Have you ever seen that TV ad, 'Help, I'm sitting around gossiping and can't shut up', Timmy?'

"I'm looking for one of those jobs where actual work is optional."

"This one will work for a minute, then jag viciously to the left, rotate 360 degrees, then only move sideways!"

'No way you're ever going to comply with all of THAT!'

"I got an extension.'