Lover Of Quirky Promises T-Shirts

Vote! Wally Yomp, Congress: 'I promise to put the toilet seat down.'

Skeleton playing fetch.

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"Running of the the chickens!? This is crazy! Dad, no one celebrates Hispanic Heritage Month like this!"

"Not lengthways you idiot!!"

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

Penny Farthing Tricycle

'You could have just TOLD me we were out of cups!'

'I'd say your financial future is looking bright.'

Ventriloquism for Dummies.

Having heard good things about it, Carlos decides to try the Phlegmish School of painting.

'Pavlov's first experiment'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

John Logie Baird - The inventor of Teddy

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

Puppet Show from the Stocks

Dentist preparing woodwork drill for dentistry.

Suggestion box with two slots like a toaster, labeled "Suggestions (and toast)."

"All day, every day—'There's a goddam fly in here!' It's so hurtful."

'Your marriage proposal couldn't have been any more romantic. Can we finish our first date before I give you my answer?'

"The strawberry surprise may have been predictable but the real surprise comes with the bill."

"Believe me, you don't want to know where it all comes from."

"You will meet a tall, dark stranger. Unfortunately, it's a grizzly bear!"

"Wow, chocolates. How original..."

"The catch is you only get one chopstick"

"OK, he's hooked–now reel him in."

'Something's wrong here.'