Master Of Unkept Promises Pillows

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

'I made them during the blizzard in January. Whad'ya say we go liven up my sister's pool party?'

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

'The trouble with punctuality is that it makes the day so long!'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

"When you promised me a lift home...."

"When I grow up I'm going to become president and I'm going to abolish homework!"

List of things to do today. Make list of things to do tomorrow.

DIY expert.

"A 15 page 'to do' list is a 'don't do' list."

"Thanks for coming in on the weekend....although let's admit it, you took a nap at your desk that happened to last all night..."

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'

Desk bins: 'Action' 'Action-Worthy' 'Action-ific'... 'Actually Done' (Nothing).

Vote! Wally Yomp, Congress: 'I promise to put the toilet seat down.'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Chinese business cuisine.

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

'Cancelled Op last minute.com'

I think you put it off long enough.

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

"Gotta find more things to do, to distract me from all the things I have to do."

'Leave your hammock at home from now on.'

'My next move is to figure out my next move.'

The 'Time Management' consultant rang to say she double booked and she's going to be late!"

"How do you spell 'procrastination'?"

'Have you ever seen that TV ad, 'Help, I'm sitting around gossiping and can't shut up', Timmy?'

'No way you're ever going to comply with all of THAT!'

"I'm looking for one of those jobs where actual work is optional."

"This one will work for a minute, then jag viciously to the left, rotate 360 degrees, then only move sideways!"

"A statue was built in his honor because he actually delivered on his campaign promises."

"Tom..Tom, you promised not to flame my parents..."