Mascot Mischief Gifts

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

A man washing a mascot costume

'Naughty boy, I see you clawing my curtains.'

Shakespeare Project

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

"What do you mean hot dog is out sick?—but I'll look stupid all by myself!"

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

"We need milk, eggs, bread, cheese. Underline cheese."

A Vet's Fight with a Chimpanzee

'Okay, let me see your hands, your feet, and that wily prehensile tail...'

'I don't think there's anyone home...Or am I just being naive?...'

"Can this wait? I'll never live it down if my staff sees you henpecking me."

'It gets to the point where fans don't respond the way they used to. You need an edge, something more...' Cougar Charlie goes public about his long-standing battle with drugs.

'Nothing but veggies...we gotta learn to read.'

"So you work as Fluffy Biffy, the J-Mart Rooster People-Greeter?"

"It gets to the point where fans don't respond the way they used to. You need an edge, something more..." Cougar Charlie goes public about his long-standing battle with drugs.

'It's out of hand when the team mascot tests positive for steroids.'

"It was too good to be true when the old cat died! They're just back from the shelter with a kitten..."

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

Darn baboons: they're mooning us again!

'They get along beautifully. The dog thinks he's a cat, and the cat thinks she's a dog.'

"And would it kill you to put some pizzazz into it?"

'-and leave the money in used notes in the left luggage department...'

Mousehole Sanitiser

'They not only beat us - in the third quarter their mascot ate our mascot!'

"I'm not the same Snuggle fabric softner bear you knew when you were a kid, Nina. If you know what's good for you, you'll forget all about me."

"So they wanted the bathroom?"

'Bad dog!!'

Football ground toilets include one for mascots.

Careful Fred, looks like another leper con.