Mascot Mania Gifts

"It gets to the point where fans don't respond the way they used to. You need an edge, something more..." Cougar Charlie goes public about his long-standing battle with drugs.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

A man washing a mascot costume

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

"That's our new church mascot."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

"He's right―there is something under the bed!"

Monster Baseball

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

The Queen

Primate Speech Institute. He's learned to talk, but all he'll talk about is the price of bananas.

Med School Mascots.

Love Hurts

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

Butterfly Sales

"Pardon my glove."

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

"I'm fine. It's coffee."

Godzilla vs. Himself.

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

"What do you mean hot dog is out sick?—but I'll look stupid all by myself!"

"Kid, I'm begging you, please stop farting."

'Where in the rules does it say I can't keep a mascot in the goals?'

Lox Ness Monster

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'

Spaghetti Mummy

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'