Mascot Coordinator Gifts

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

The Baby Walker

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Quick, start the car!"

"The meeting will come to order."

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Here and There Trays

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

'Great Therapy!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Bears going water skiing.

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

A man washing a mascot costume

Riding School Chaos

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"I've told you before one at each end!"

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'