Mascotting Gifts

"So you work as Fluffy Biffy, the J-Mart Rooster People-Greeter?"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

A man washing a mascot costume

"That's our new church mascot."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"Pardon my glove."

Med School Mascots.

'Last warning, Girard! Get rid of that mask!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

'Where in the rules does it say I can't keep a mascot in the goals?'

"Why do you always wear pants?"

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

Mr Met

"What do you mean hot dog is out sick?—but I'll look stupid all by myself!"

"It does seem like a school-approved activity."

'Hi! I'm Nukee, the nuclear power mascot! You'll be seeing lots of me & I'll be seeing lots of you!

"I take it you're the bear foot field goal kicker."

"Mr. Peanut is my dad—you can call me Rick."

No poking doughboy

"I don't think it sends the right vibe."

'What's the name of our new mascot again?' 'Mopey.'

"Yes we need it back. The team fired you, not Sharky."

'Looks like a little lucky mascot.'

'It gets to the point where fans don't respond the way they used to. You need an edge, something more...' Cougar Charlie goes public about his long-standing battle with drugs.

"Can this wait? I'll never live it down if my staff sees you henpecking me."

"Good news is we killed the vampire. Bad news is he was actually our beloved town hero, Mosquito Man."

"I'm sorry Gary, but my twelve apostles are enough. We don't also need a mascot."

Mr. Peanut sauced.

"So... do we take him to the hospital or the veterinary clinic?"

'Don't worry...that's our mascot'

'Breaker' the mascot disappears from area college.