Martyr Complex Explorer Gifts

Martyr Complex

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

"Dad, I checked a book out at the library...can you read it with me?"

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

Ventriloquist Grave

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

Pranking Zombies

"The worst is behind us!"

Mummy Tourists

Headstone reading 'Only Sleeping'.

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

"You won't believe how many Frisbees are up here!"

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

Mummies for Dummies

"There it is! There's the evidence Mars once had a lake!"

"It's soon to be listed in the National Register of Historic Military Holes in the Ground."

This wasn't quite the fairytale ending Colin had anticipated.

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

Michael Hall 1930-2002: wonderful father, devoted husband, benevolent employer, generous citizen, BUT...

Easter Island moai shake hands below the surface.

"Back in 15 min."

Cat scratch fever

Owner tells dog to put back all the bones he's dug up

'Who are you calling ancient?'

'Just stop listening to Public Broadcasting, and your guilt complex should clear right up!'

'A bathroom!!'

Oil Tower at Mount Rushmore

Unfulfilled

".. if this is what man is capable of achieving in the 17th century, image what is possible in the 21st?"

King: 'I said build me a stone HENGE you FOOL! NOT stone HENS!!'