Martian Tech Explorer Gifts

Aliens man telephone store named ET&T Phones.

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Your Future Home.

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

"You want proof? There's your proof."

"She thinks it's a touchscreen."

Water divining Mars

Chemistry Improv Theater

EARTH DAY. Whatever.

'The big bang theory of creation.'

'Soulless fruit flies are the nanotechnology of the fear industry.'

"I'd like to make a return."

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

'Good evening! I'm the Abduction Admin Consultant.'

"I'm leaving a one starfish review of this tank on Yelp."

"I'm trying to find a new element."

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

"Siri, are you out of your mind?!"

"Let's give those new bulbs a try."

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

"There it is! There's the evidence Mars once had a lake!"

Parent and child enter library. Sign says, '30 minute time limit on the internet. Unlimited amount of time on books!

'A bathroom!!'

'Us finding this rare ore was as likely as an alien tapping me on the shoulder.'

'I know I told you this wouldn't hurt, but, if it does, raise your trunk or something.'