Marriage Vow Analysts Gifts

"Just which part of, 'Till death do us part' don't you get, Arthur?"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

Parson and abandoned husband

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

'I Marianne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer until death do I watch.'

"You just said, ‘And then I killed my first and second husbands.’ ... Let's explore that."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"The video of our wedding now includes commentary."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"Honey, I'm home."

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

"I had a hell a time choosing which wine went with your unrealistic expectation of me."

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

"I liked you better as my first husband."

'... And do you, Gavin, promise not to hog the T.V remote, for as long as you both shall live?'

'Nothing grows in the shade.'

"Tim, I'm having a problem with your marriage proposal."

'Find out if she would have like me if I hadn't asked so many people.'

'Marry me, Linda. Two can live more cheaply than one.'

"...for better OR worse, not AND."

"My wife finds it natural to nag, so if you hear that I died of natural causes, you'll know why."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

He'd often look back and wonder what went wrong. She'd catch him sometimes and call the police.

'I'm not complaining, Walter -- I just thought marriage would be more interactive.'

"Yes, even with all the progress they're making in geriatrics, marriage is still 'til death do you part."

'I wear the pants in this family!'

"I lined it up with our prenup."

'We have a good marriage, but not a marriage made in heaven.'

"Don't you think we've done enough 'begetting'?"

"I thought celibacy only happened if you got married."

'Marital Status?' - 'Henpecked.'

"My wife is all in the eye of the beholder."