Marital Troubles Analyst Gifts

'I think my marriage is in trouble -- my wife gave me a traveler's check for my birthday.'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

'I want to start by having you take separate staycations.'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"

Diplomacy

"You just said, ‘And then I killed my first and second husbands.’ ... Let's explore that."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

'I get the feeling lately that some of the magic has gone out of our relationship.'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"We both need to get away and unsidewind awhile."

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

'I'm sorry, but I just can't handle you being out at sea for so long.'

"Honey, I'm home."

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

"Is it a 'personal attack' if I can prove he’s an idiot?"

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

"...and what has my culinary genius conjured up to delight my taste buds tonight?"

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

"It's not jsut that he walks upright and uses complex tools. He also makes me laugh."

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'