Marital Troubles Analyst T-Shirts

'I think my marriage is in trouble -- my wife gave me a traveler's check for my birthday.'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

'I want to start by having you take separate staycations.'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

"You just said, ‘And then I killed my first and second husbands.’ ... Let's explore that."

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"

'I get the feeling lately that some of the magic has gone out of our relationship.'

"We both need to get away and unsidewind awhile."

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

Diplomacy

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, sister? People were right: Now that gay people in all 50 states can marry, it's destroyed marriage altogether. My husband Larry just left me and moved in with Earl the plumber. First of all, ma'am, I'm pretty sure you have no idea how these things work. The supreme court gave Larry the gay. How do I undo the gay?

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

"Honey, I'm home."

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

'I'm sorry, but I just can't handle you being out at sea for so long.'

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

"Is it a 'personal attack' if I can prove he’s an idiot?"

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

"...and what has my culinary genius conjured up to delight my taste buds tonight?"

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

"It's not jsut that he walks upright and uses complex tools. He also makes me laugh."