Marriage Traditions Gifts

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

'I want you to have this rock-- it belonged to my mother.'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Try Mediation

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'