Marriage Musings Enthusiast Gifts

"Seriously I won't be offended - feel free to self-isolate."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

"It's not that we had more fun before we got married --- it's just that now we're having a different kind of fun."

So all is not rosy in the garden?

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

Gender Symbols

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"I married for contrast."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

"You're a lot easier to live with once your antlers fall off."

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

"Donald switched off in 1985 and i never bothered to switch him on again."

"Why, it's a little piece of red yarn! Oh Harold, you always know JUST what to get me."

"I went ahead and got married without knowing the possible side effects."

"Same thing every morning. Crack of Don at the crack of dawn."

"That's Stuart and Vivian Muntner. They're a one-marriage family."

"Well, Pook, here's to one old marriage that just won't go away."

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

"He's not the frog I married."

"Then just when I thought all my marriage problems were over, he started breathing again!"

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

The widow's intended: 'Well, Tommy, has your mother told you of my good fortune.' Tommy: 'No. She only said she was going to marry you!'

'I don't worry about Harold putting the cap back on the toothpaste. He never takes it off!'