Marriage Musings Gifts

'Is your marriage okay?' - 'I wouldn't know. We're not talking.'

'When I first met my hubby I knew that he was full of promise. . . false promise!'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"You're a lot easier to live with once your antlers fall off."

"Same thing every morning. Crack of Don at the crack of dawn."

"We seem to have a lot more time together since George started working from home."

'I don't worry about Harold putting the cap back on the toothpaste. He never takes it off!'

'You are overdrawn!'

'He does.'

"I can't find my briefcase anywhere - you said it was in the bedroom - where in the bedroom?"

Another private moment in the off-stage lives of professional cartoon characters...

Obedience School

"Does my bum look big in this?"

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

Wanna talk about it?

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

"It's not that we had more fun before we got married --- it's just that now we're having a different kind of fun."

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

'The only reason she keeps me is to rub out her bed wrinkles.'

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

A Man Visits A Doctor To Ask About Marriage.

You are cordially invited...

'I understand your reluctance to speak but your marriage is in a rut and your wife needs your input.'

'He kept winking at one of the bridesmaids.'

Lawyer, couple in bed - 'Natalie, remember my mother said we shouldn't go to sleep without settling things...'