Marriage Muser Gifts

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

"I don't know what went wrong. He used to be just crazy about me."

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

"Lactose started it, but now it's mainly me she can't tolerate. . ."

"I don't want a divorce, but I would like a gap year."

"I snore says my wife!"

"It would have been a no-fault divorce if the judge wasn't happily married for 30 years!"

"As a single young male at this church I am uncomfortable being constantly evaluated for marriage potential."

'I told you that temper of yours would get you into trouble.'

'I keep making the same mistake over and over again, marrying for love.'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Quite a lot of divorce in my family!'

'Next time, I want a traditional marriage -- you know, where the husband caters to your every whim.'

There's a lot to be said about marriage, but you covered it all and then some years ago.

'Do you feel that life is passing you by?'

"I know I'm going to be disappointed, but I don't know how, so that's the exciting part."

"I'm sure 'till death do you part' was only an estimate."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

God's map of the universe

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

"But am I happy? Very."

Marriage & Divorce.

"Oh, that's my cousin. I'm the Bluebird of Mid-Life Existential Despair!"

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."