Marriage Muse Gifts

'When you grow up, how many times do you plan to get married?'

"I only provide financial advice. You're on your own to figure out how to survive being together all day every day."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"After you've finished doing what you're doing, could you not begin doing something else?"

"Okay. Just for the sake of this argument, let's say I do."

Marriage & Divorce.

What's the matter, baby? Henry says he's an atheist, Mum. He doesn't believe in hell. Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.

We've grown apart.

'That's not the way you used to zip me up when we were first married.'

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

Jerry Lordan

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

Angel playing music

News of the Day - Peace: 'what strange mirrors they make these days'

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Proud mother and new maid

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

Happy Mothers Day

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

'My client doesn't wish to answer any more questions.'

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

Modern day mirror.

"Lactose started it, but now it's mainly me she can't tolerate. . ."

"...on the avenue..."

"Buy them - and never look back."

'I seem to have lost the body I had before I had children.'