Marriage Muse Gifts

'When you grow up, how many times do you plan to get married?'

"I only provide financial advice. You're on your own to figure out how to survive being together all day every day."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"After you've finished doing what you're doing, could you not begin doing something else?"

"Okay. Just for the sake of this argument, let's say I do."

I'm not channeling your husband

Marriage & Divorce.

What's the matter, baby? Henry says he's an atheist, Mum. He doesn't believe in hell. Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.

We've grown apart.

'That's not the way you used to zip me up when we were first married.'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

Jerry Lordan

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

News of the Day - Peace: 'what strange mirrors they make these days'

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Angel playing music

Happy Mothers Day

"This next tune is dedicated to my wife, who is currently away on a cruise. I call it, 'The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea'."

Proud mother and new maid

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

'My client doesn't wish to answer any more questions.'

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

"Buy them - and never look back."

Modern day mirror.

"Lactose started it, but now it's mainly me she can't tolerate. . ."