Marriage Metaphor Enthusiast Gifts

Reading my Critics

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Try Mediation

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

"Whoa! Was that today?"

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

A Poem about Sand

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

"now let's try one without the tusks."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"No heroic measures."