Marriage Metaphor Enthusiast T-Shirts

Tonight's Topic: Marriage is a two-way street. That accounts for all the head-on collisions.

Reading my Critics

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Try Mediation

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

A Poem about Sand

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

"Whoa! Was that today?"

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

"now let's try one without the tusks."

"No heroic measures."

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

So all is not rosy in the garden?