Marriage Merrymakers Pillows

'I'll take that as a 'yes.''

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'My client has no problem with 'richer' and 'in health'. Our points of contention are 'poorer' and 'in sickness'.'

"'Fried Ham' on 3..."

A clerk asking for time off to get married.

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

Violin family at Christmas

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

'Just think, darling - tomorrow the cooking will be all mine and the dishes yours!'

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

'Would it upset you is I said I'm not bothered if your heart isn't in it?'

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

Pucker up!

'Wow, now I see why you're so jolly all the time.'

"We can go with the hormone-replacement therapy or skip straight to the husband replacement."

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

Lady vicar offering new bride a husband owner's manual.

"I've just finished crafting a non-violent solution to our problems."

"Tim, I'm having a problem with your marriage proposal."

"When we got married, you said we'd be in the lap of luxury...but here we are, in the butt of bankruptcy!"

Wedding Special: Buy one get your next one free

'Does it have plenty of closet space? My husband sulks a lot.'

Why do my wife's lips move when I'm talking.