Merry Matchmakers Pillows

Pucker up!

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Today's love

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

Cupid's converge on a bachelor.

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."