Merry Matchmakers T-Shirts

Pucker up!

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

Today's love

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

Cupid's converge on a bachelor.

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'