Marriage Menders Pillows

"Whenever I have a point of view you trash it."

"Fifty bucks. Just glue them shut before they go into my wife's mouth."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Couples' therapy

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'My client has no problem with 'richer' and 'in health'. Our points of contention are 'poorer' and 'in sickness'.'

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

A clerk asking for time off to get married.

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

"Arthur, I need my space."

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

"You never seem to hear a word I say to you!"

'All he wants is sex, sex, sex!'

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'