Marriage Menders T-Shirts

"Whenever I have a point of view you trash it."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Couples' therapy

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'My client has no problem with 'richer' and 'in health'. Our points of contention are 'poorer' and 'in sickness'.'

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

A clerk asking for time off to get married.

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

"Arthur, I need my space."

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

'All he wants is sex, sex, sex!'

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

'I told you he had a temper.'

"Whose turn is it to be happy?"

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"