Relationship Mender Pillows

'If you want to save your marriage, tell each other you're sorry.' 'Youre sorry!'

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"I said I'm sorry."

"They say we can go there for Thanksgiving or they can cut us out of the will. Our choice,"

"So...are we good?"

Surface Tension

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

Cupid failed.

'I've tried everything to get her to leave me-apart from throwing sticks...'

"Let's stop this before we both say a lot of things we mean."

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

"He somehow managed to show up for this, but the rest of the time I can never find him!"

"But we do have a common activity: we fight."

"You don't even feign interest any more."

Peace Offering

'Ooh, let me see... I'm hungry for affection?'

'Dear Henry, and dear Liza, for the sake of the relationship, just buy a new bucket!'

Hard Hat Area: Marriage Guidance Bureau.

"I've had a terrible quarrel with the missus. . . mind if I crash here tonight?"

'It's your hateful mother, here for a little bonding with her unforgiving daughter.'

J.D. Perkins, Civil Union Counselor.

'She hates me when I'm drunk and I hate her when I'm sober!'

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

"I guess this makes up for all those months you didn't speak to me."

"That's another wall I'd like to see come down."

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

"Is it a 'personal attack' if I can prove he’s an idiot?"

"Now that the kids have grown up, can we talk?"

"Nice try, but I'm still angry."

'YOur wife says she's been watching you, and there are a lot of things you need to work on.'

Marital problems.

'Our relationship has never been the same since Jeff ran off with that spoon...'

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'The stress is killing me...what price can you put on a WASTED life. . . and what about the impotence?'