Relationship Reformer Pillows

'I hope you can reform his addiction to computers!'

'Oh, Josh, I just know you can become the man I intend to make you into.'

'He thinks our marriage is undemocratic.'

"Maybe I'll marry you and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"You owe me five bucks."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"...until death do you a favor."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"I don't know who you are!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

Our love is strong, but it's our mutual dislikes that really keep us together.

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."