Marriage Mavens Gifts

"What can I give him that would please me for him to have?"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"Arthur, I need my space."

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

The Cattle show Week.

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

'All he wants is sex, sex, sex!'

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

Tuba Player Stores a Barrel of Beer

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

'..Can I interest you in our new fragrance - 'Are''

From marriage, straight to the counselor.

'If I were you I'd poison the bastard!'

'Dear, your ego is stepping on my shoes again.'

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."