Marmalade Maker Gifts

Cottage Industry

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

Marshmallows

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

Smiling Cake: Brave yet stupid pastry...smiled all the way to the small intestine

Stonehenge Sandcastle

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"City kids."

"We should start wearing masks."

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

Member of the Fortune 5 Million

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

The lesser known active volcanoes.

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"Didn't anyone tell you it was a masked ball?

The Burning Bush: How God convinced Moses to Lead His people a.k.a. the origin of s'mores.

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

Blackjack: free lemonade!

Working at a brewery.

Marshmallow Roast

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

"All I've got left is smoked."

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

Emergency box in woods contains supplies for a campfire.

Cows on pogo-sticks creating milkshakes.

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.