Market Timer Gifts

'Charles, I want you to meet Joel. You have lots in common. He also thinks he knows how to time the market.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

The president's men

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

World Economic Crisis.

Economy - USA.

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'The recession is over, again.'

Opening the door to new customers

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Dow Jones drop

'The good news is we've finally turned the corner. The bad news is, no government bailout.'

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

Customer Convention

Standard And P****d.

"Presidential approval ratings. US stock market confidence indices. U.S. dollar index. So much winning."

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

Travel looks strong!

'In a Washington economic summit, a panel of three economists offered two dozen opinions about the direction of global economics.'

'We're counting on inflation.'

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

The United States' economy deflating.

The Decline of the Euro.

'Of course, in the long term we're all extinct.'

'Before we found you, we were just squeaking by.'

Exchange Rate.

Chinese Stock Market Crash