Market Monitor Gifts

"Thank goodness I was getting my share prices confused with my resting heart rate."

"Just watching the market go up and down. You?"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

The president's men

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

World Economic Crisis.

Economy - USA.

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'The recession is over, again.'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'The good news is we've finally turned the corner. The bad news is, no government bailout.'

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

Standard And P****d.

"Presidential approval ratings. US stock market confidence indices. U.S. dollar index. So much winning."

Travel looks strong!

'We're counting on inflation.'

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

Chinese Stock Market Crash

'Before we found you, we were just squeaking by.'

Today, tech stocks rose on news the latest gadgets avoided internet censorship by the Iranian government.'

The Decline of the Euro.

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

Exchange Rate.

Bank Ratings Lowered.