Market Share Guardian Gifts

'We tried it your way and continue to lose market share. It's time you let me take a shot at it.'

The day the stock market went UP.

North Pole

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

You can breed these if the environment is right.

Business is off the chart.

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

"The disasters are collaborating better than we are!"

A globe detaches itself from its stand and falls into a rubbish bin in the offices of the (fictional) Institute of Environmental Forecasting

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

Child walking with balloon which represents global warming.

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."

Safe vaccine for the world

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

Chained CPI

Wall Street In Jail

Cuba detected a variant of HIV

'Sorry - global warming is not covered!'

Didn't know as much about the market as I thought I did.

Protection for the world

"Welcome shareholders to the annual report - let us pray."

"But deep down you must have wanted to change."

Sales company

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

"I lobby for rich people."

"If the pandemic wipes out the locusts, and the floods take care of the drought, then we may not have to take any action at all."

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

'At last a sign the bear market may be over.'

Golf

Money - troops to fight terrorism, promote democracy, protest oil? Lots and lots. Money, help, attention, to save 800,000 people from starvation? Not much.

"The equities markets loves me, the equities markets love me not. . ."

'Don't be afraid, the speculators won't take away your savings. I'll be faster than they are!'

"Did you accidentally put the DVD of 'Taxi Driver' in her 'Wheels on the Bus' case?"