Content Guardian Gifts

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

"Did you accidentally put the DVD of 'Taxi Driver' in her 'Wheels on the Bus' case?"

Hate Platforms

"I shop, therefore I am."

TV-Man

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

"We occasionally remove content that is considered to be subversive, or a potential threat to public order and national security."

Social media and censorship...

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"Fact amnesty"

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

In the future, wars will be fought over water.

'Those viewers who disagree with our editorial on TV violence has better keep their big mouths shut!'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

Diner is served

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

"My owner used me irresponsibly and now I have a virus."

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

Meet the People of the Internet

"I think Baxter needs a break."

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

'I guess this is what we get for going to a discount web-page designer.'

'Have you been giving them too many tweets again?'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'