Market Misfit Gifts

STRIP *Bloomerbery Money * Bad fund manager

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

Sad businessman with sinking profits

"Just the galoshes and coat, Timmy."

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

Dating site - buy a dog.

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

"How is the new hearing aid?"

All's well that ends well

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

"he was a computer error of the Computer Dating Service"

'I don't fit where I belong.'

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

"When I recommended you join a gym...I didn't mean as a member of the board!"