Market Mayhem Enthusiast Gifts

A vacancy in the Finance Department

Wall Street Devil.

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Wall Street Couch

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Why markets crash.

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

Jumping Wall Street.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

Early attempts at standardising currency.

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

Wall Street Investing.

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

'Fresh eggs!'

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

Masochism for stockholders.

'As expected, your shares of de ja vu are rebounding, again.'

'He's chasing the market.'

"He's trying to feel which way the wind is blowing."

Charging to a 10,000 Dow?

"It's the closest I get to being a hunter-gatherer."

'Eddie, politicians everywhere are kicking cans down the road, so maybe it's time to get in on the boom in tin.'