Market Rally Enthusiast Gifts

'He's only turned on by a market rally.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Wall Street Couch

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Why markets crash.

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Jumping Wall Street.

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

Early attempts at standardising currency.

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

'I actually look forward to hibernating during bull markets.'

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

Wall Street Investing.

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

Taming the beast of the free market...

'Fresh eggs!'

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

'In the modern world manufacturing takes place in China. Most R&D is one in South Korea and support and logistics is based in India.'

'As expected, your shares of de ja vu are rebounding, again.'

'He's chasing the market.'

"It's the closest I get to being a hunter-gatherer."