Market Mayhem Lovers Gifts

Masochism for stockholders.

Future garbage truck driver.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Why markets crash.

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Jumping Wall Street.

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

Larry's Literary Market

Monster Clown

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

Early attempts at standardising currency.

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

Wall Street Investing.

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

'Fresh eggs!'

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

'He's chasing the market.'

"Today, the yen shot up on news it is spelled differently from the 'Yuan'."

High end of the market...

'Today stocks dropped on news that the only thing to fear is everything.'

"Find out if this is a market glitch or just the computer acting up!"

"It's the closest I get to being a hunter-gatherer."

Charging to a 10,000 Dow?

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

Bull and bear balancing a globe on a rope.

The Stock Market and Personal Income.