Market Guesser Gifts

'The market moved higher today on rumors that the market would move higher today.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

World Economic Crisis.

Economy - USA.

Business is off the chart.

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

'The good news is we've finally turned the corner. The bad news is, no government bailout.'

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

Travel looks strong!

"Presidential approval ratings. US stock market confidence indices. U.S. dollar index. So much winning."

Standard And P****d.

The Euro - R.I.P.

Out of control

'All right, gentlemen, this is the current picture of our growth industry!'

'We're counting on inflation.'

Investments.

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

Exchange Rate.

Chinese Stock Market Crash

'Before we found you, we were just squeaking by.'

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

Bank Ratings Lowered.

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"