Maritime Merrymaker Gifts

"Why is it always snowing in that fish bowl?"

'Hey buddy.Pass that bottle of ketch up here will ya'.'

'We watched aboard the Skylark - the Brits were blue, the French were Red and Tom was Green.'

'Sam's not really a seafaring man but he can yo-ho-ho with the best of them.'

'A ship! We're saved!'

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

Clownfish entertain sea life by hitting each other in the face with octopi.

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

Wedding Wellies

'Just think, darling - tomorrow the cooking will be all mine and the dishes yours!'

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"All I've got left is smoked."

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

"I realize your prescription bottle says 'Keep Tightly Closed', but you still need to take the medication!"

Tugboat pulls along a rubber duck.

"She's sinking alright, Captain. Even the rats are wearing life jackets!"

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

'Don't worry about the side effects. You already suffer from all the side effects caused by this medication.'

Jester

'Shakin' bacon.'

Humpty Dumpty is sitting on a wall, Below is a man with a boiling pot waiting for him to land in it, Man is licking is lips, he has napkin on and is holding a knife and fork,

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'After paying for the boat, it's insurance, the docking and gas, I couldn't afford a trailer.'

The velcro ties were in place. The lobstermen would have no idea what hit them.'

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

"... And would sir like a straw with that?"