Marital Support Ambassador Gifts

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Dolphin friendly tuna

Love linked

If you want to see love be love.

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"And another thing: What's that strange clicking thing you do with your beak?"

'You've changed since we got married.'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"Well if it doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong, why don't I be right and you be wrong?"

"You can always count on me."

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

'My wife's therapist doesn't understand me.'

No, they're not divorced --- She said that's her "ox-husband."

'Ask him where he goes every December 24th - because he won't tell me!'

"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"

"He just married me on the rebound."

"It's not what you think."

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"You took a vow of poverty, celibacy and silence. But aren't they the marriage vows."

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

'It's good to talk.'

'Please don't interupt-we've only got 45 minutes.'

Poplar Trees/Not very Poplar Trees.

I know why you're such a greedy, heartless scrooge, Armstrong. It's because deep down, you just want to be loved. But you're afraid of rejection, so you make yourself as unlovable as possible. That's the type of utter nonsense to expect from muscle-bound oaf who hadn't paid his tab in 13 years. I love you too, man. I hope you get audited.

'We're past the 'romantic' phase and into the 'living hell' phase.'

"If you've been affected by any issues raised during our love-making there's a number you can call."

Mixed marriage: food fight

"I know that birds of a feather should flock together, but I like hanging out with you guys..."

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'

"Your empathy is making it hard to breathe."