Marital Jest Master Gifts

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'

'He does.'

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

'I missed work due to a rib injury from belly-laughing at your jokes.'

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

Wedding Chefs

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"The Jacksons will be there in about an hour and I promise you guys an epic fight!"

"My wife and I have a love-mate relationship."

'I'm married to my job, and now it wants a trial separation!'

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

'Almost done.'

'Cheers, it's worth the domestic hassle.'

"We've only been married three years and she's already giving me gbh of the ear 'oles."

"Our marriage has been experiencing a spot of turbulence lately."

"The autocorrect function is redundant for me. I'm married."

'How are Rod and Cindy getting on?' 'Like a house on fire!'

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

'Hi, I'm Linda, and this is my husband Jack. He's been having trouble keeping his penis to himself.'

'Of course I'm not fooling around with my secretary, Helen -- my receptionist would kill me!'

"I admire your devotion to duty."

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'He goes without saying - usually to the pub' (woman to marriage counselor)

"I know I promised to be faithful but I hadn't counted on the 'El Nino' effect."

Who's Who in bed?

'I bet your Sunday mornings are different now you're married,eh Sam!'

'My marriage is at the stage where we may re-model the kitchen - again!'

'I do, but no promises.'