Marine Meditator Gifts

'You're all worked up for nothing. Just surface for a second and get some fresh air!'

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Yoga with Baby

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

"You wait nine months for a vaccine then three arrive all at once."

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

"I decided to get comfortable...we have a lot to talk about."

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

"The Great Source keeps afloat, along with a little help from the sharks there."

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

Wisdom for dummies

www.meditation.commm

"My koan is to comprehend the sound of one hand clapping."

"I accept the cookies I cannot change."

'Our Community Mental Health Foundation has given us a grant NOT to broadcast the stock market news.'

'The secret to happiness is to stay away from low-lying coastal areas which are most susceptible to storms from global warming.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

"Thirty-seven years up here and my ears STILL pop!"

'Yep, I'm alone.'

The real reason we have natural disasters...

"Be still and know that I am cod."

'Just in case I forget it, I keep my mantra on my Ipod.'

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

'Relax... breathe... visualize you inner dog treat...'

Belly reflection

'Oh my gosh, this is terrific! I just tuned in satellite radio.'

'Oh wow! Bad karma!'

I Wish For More Nights Like This...

'I'm not a guru. I came up here just to get away from electric power lines.'

Horny Monk

'We've been up here thirty years - Of COURSE you have deja vu feelings!'