Planet Meditator Gifts

The real reason we have natural disasters...

Chiller Theatre

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Yoga with Baby

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"You wait nine months for a vaccine then three arrive all at once."

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

"I decided to get comfortable...we have a lot to talk about."

It must be December again -- I just had a vision of sugarplums.

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'I hired a decorator.'

"I'm just checkin' my email, OK! I AM NOT googling it..."

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

www.meditation.commm

"My koan is to comprehend the sound of one hand clapping."

"I accept the cookies I cannot change."

Delivery.

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- Barack Obama offered me a job writing platitudes!'

'Nice to see you relax and not think about business for a change.'

I didn't ask you to undress so I could examine you. I asked you to undress because it's essential to the doctor-patient relationship that I be fully clothed and you be sitting there in your underwear."

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'That's old Goopta - he decided to quit at the top of his game.'

He was reaching for enlightenment and threw out his back.

"Thirty-seven years up here and my ears STILL pop!"

"Man cave? You think too small."

'Our Community Mental Health Foundation has given us a grant NOT to broadcast the stock market news.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

'I consider the Buddha to be a living document.'

'Nothing against you, but I'm thinking about going back for my master's.'