Innovative Meditator Gifts

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

Be Healthy

Chiller Theatre

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

Mind-Fullness

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Stressed over time management

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Showoff"

Why am I running?

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

James decided to stay in that night.

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

"You've been served."

Free-Floating Anxiety

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"Hoarder."

It's A Breeze

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

"Am I a happy man or just an asymptomatic one?"

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

Man constantly stressing