Digital Meditator Gifts

'Oh my gosh, this is terrific! I just tuned in satellite radio.'

"I accept the cookies I cannot change."

"My koan is to comprehend the sound of one hand clapping."

Guru with Computer

"I'm going on a retreat."

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Yoga with Baby

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"You wait nine months for a vaccine then three arrive all at once."

"I decided to get comfortable...we have a lot to talk about."

Cable Bill.

"Avoid sitting."

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

www.meditation.commm

'Actually I'm meditating on a bizarre anime that I saw last night.'

'Our Community Mental Health Foundation has given us a grant NOT to broadcast the stock market news.'

'Yep, I'm alone.'

Virtual reality guru.

'Just when you think you've reached the final awareness, they send another update.'

Zen Buddhist Diary

"Instead of chanting 'Aum' can I keep texting 'Good Morning?'"

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

The real reason we have natural disasters...

'Just in case I forget it, I keep my mantra on my Ipod.'

Dot Om.

Belly reflection

"Make it quick Carl, I've gotta 'be present' in about text minutes."

"That's my new mantra. . . 'woulda coulda shoulda'?"

'You're all worked up for nothing. Just surface for a second and get some fresh air!'

'... Yes, most people are surprised when I show them the real meaning of life.'

The Power of Fatalistic Thinking.

'Are you sure about this? -- Enlightenment isn't for sissies.'