Mountain Meditator Gifts

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Let's see now...The meaning of life, the meaning of life...'

'Do you suppose it's possible to become TOO enlightened?'

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- Barack Obama offered me a job writing platitudes!'

Mountain Man with computer backup.

'That's old Goopta - he decided to quit at the top of his game.'

'I hired a decorator.'

'I don't know what's wrong with me. It's gotten so I can't tell the difference between the Truth and a truism anymore!'

'Thank God I'm an Atheist.'

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'Do you play poker?'

The guru is on a book signing tour for his 6 volume memoir, 'The meaning of Life', based on his years contemplating on a mountaintop.

'Maybe this would work better if we tried exinguishing each OTHER'S egos.'

'Poor Goopta - He got lightning instead of enlightenment.'

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

"Man cave? You think too small."

Please Stay Back At Least Six Feet

'When it comes to Nirvana, getting there is NOT half the fun.'

'I consider the Buddha to be a living document.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'Nothing against you, but I'm thinking about going back for my master's.'

'I didn't know we HAD revenues.'

'Nice to see you relax and not think about business for a change.'

WHILE YOU WERE OUT OF BODY...

"'Goo-ROO'? Are you sure? -- Fore the last forty years, I've been saying 'GOO-roo.'"

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"According to this, we owe more on the mountain than what it's worth."

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

"I'm just checkin' my email, OK! I AM NOT googling it..."

Be Healthy

Chiller Theatre

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

Mind-Fullness

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."